It's a Zoo Around Here

Ok, if you're an animal activist, you probably don't want to keep reading.

Did you click out of blogspot yet?

Seriously - what you are about to read might be offensive to you.

Ok, I warned you.

So, today's lunch conversation was probably the funniest lunch conversation I've had in a while.

I went to lunch with my sister-in-law and her kids. She was explaining to me why they were running so late. (You should know that this particular sister-in-law lives right next door to me.)

She started by telling me that I should be careful when backing up my car. You see, we had a crawdad feed last night after my brother returned from his little fishing hole with enough crawdad to feed our large family. (Let it be known that I don't like seafood and opted for chicken casserole instead.) They decided not to cook all of them, and left a few in the kids' plastic turtle wading pool overnight. We joked about the poor shellfish boiling in that little plastic pool because it's been so hot lately.

When my brother left for work this morning, he was going to play a trick on the kids and trade the little crawdad with bigger ones, leading the kids to believe they had grown overnight. The joke was on him, though, when he opened the lid to find that the only thing in the pool was water. The crawdad had somehow managed to crawl up the sides of the pool and get under the lid over the course of the night. This meant that somewhere around our houses, there was likely crawdad lurking in any dark, moist area.

I was extra careful when backing out my car this morning. Still no sign of the poor little guys.

But to get back to the reason she was late for lunch:

When she was outside looking for crawdad this morning, my sister-in-law realized there was a squirrel in the trap they had set. (There are still a few walnut trees left on the property from when we used to run a filbert farm and they have been having problems with the squirrels eating the nuts before they can get to them.) She could see that the little squirrel was in pain, so she called my brother to come home and put the little guy out of its misery. Unfortunately, he couldn't get a break to come home from work, so it was up to her to take care of the situation.

Reluctantly, she got out the ladder and the BB gun to end the chattering. (I told you, you might not want to keep reading.)

As a courtesy to my readers, I will leave out the gory details, but it will suffice to say: the little guy would NOT follow the light at the end of the tunnel. It probably didn't help that my sister-in-law couldn't bear to look whenever she shot the gun so there's no guarantee it was hitting him. And realistically, it probably didn't last nearly as long as it must have seemed to her.

But listening to her tell this story had me laughing hysterically.

I can just picture it:
The curtain opens on a green backyard on a summer's day. Crawdad are crawling in the foreground. A large walnut tree looms stage right. Enter scene - my sister-in-law. Carrying a ladder and a BB gun. Incessant chittering can be heard. (You can picture the rest.)

Ultimately, she put the little guy out of his misery. Still no word about the crawdad.