Battle of the Sexes

I've noticed the significant differences between men and women when it comes to preparation for vacations or special occasions. I'd like to describe them with my own personal experiences.

Concerts

Women:My college roommate and I made it a professional sport to go to concerts. For us, planning outfits, doing hair, and listening to the music before-hand is a must. Getting ready is almost as much fun as the actual concert itself. At the concert we sing along, take pictures, and dance like hooligans.

Men: When I go to concerts with The Boy, it is just another activity throughout the course of the day. Once, I even went to a concert with him wearing the same thing I wore on the flight in that day. We didn't listen to the music in the car on the way to the concert, and there was no singing or dancing along involved. It was different, but surprisingly, still fun - we sat close and enjoyed the music and each other's company.

Birthdays

Women: [I should also include my family in this category, since we tend to go overboard for birthdays to account for the lack of recognition that sometimes occurs in large families.] Growing up around my family and with my female friends, birthdays were a HUGE deal. There might be signs hung around the house in the morning, surprise parties planned, names announced on local radio stations, handmade cards, and a dessert of the special person's choice. In my world, each person's birthday was an opportunity to celebrate them.

Men:It was not until recently that I realized not everyone in the world celebrated birthdays the same way I do. I shared a birthday with a guy whose family only made a brief phone call to him on his special day. There was no special dinner celebration, no birthday cake, nothing swaying from the ordinary flow of the other 364 days of his year. And so, that is how he celebrated my birthday with me. A bit of a culture shock for me, but understandable if no one ever made a big deal of his birthday before.

Vacations

Women:As with concerts, half of the fun of the vacation is the planning and anticipation involved. I will look for new outfits to match the weather I'll be experiencing, hunt for scrapbook stickers to document the memories after we get home, plan hair and nail appointments accordingly, put extra effort into working out and dieting before I leave, research places to see while I'm there, and talk about it extensively with friends. Maybe it's my OCD, but I like to nail out the details of transportation and lodging as soon as possible. For me, vacations take a lot of time, organization, and effort to get ready for so I can enjoy them to the fullest. The more exotic and unique the trip, the more preparation needed.

Men Every day is a learning experience. This most recent trip with The Boy I've been planning for almost a year is no exception. I was invited as a guest to go with his family to Hawaii - the first real vacation we would have taken together that actually happened. (I say it that way because I can think of at least three previous occasions when we tried to plan something and it fell through for whatever reason.) As time got closer, I kept asking for the exact dates I would need to ask off from work/buy plane tickets to meet up with the family to fly to the island together. No one could give me an answer. After months and months of planning accordingly, I needed to know the most basic details (at this point it's about 3 weeks away). I had purchased a new swim suit and dress to wear, scheduled a hair cut/highlight, researched tanning salons to get a base tan, saved my gift certificate for a pedicure, contacted college friends to meet up with them while I was there, and got myself ridiculously excited about the vacation. Only to find out that logistically, I shouldn't go. (I should point out, the entire thing was planned by men - hence the relevance to this subcategory in my comparison.) As it turns out, his dad bought the plane tickets preemptively, and there wasn't one for me. I could still get one for the same flight, but I wouldn't be sitting near the family. As an additional afterthought to his original 'Plus 1' invitation he gave his two sons, their dad decided the trip should be strictly a family affair. And I'm sure he thought nothing was wrong with his last-minute change of heart. After all, he is probably not aware of the extremes us women go to when it comes to preparing for a vacation like this. I suppose I can't blame him. It's not his fault I went all out to get amped for the trip.

And I have to try and handle the situation as an adult, with as much grace, understanding and logic as possible. As much as I want to pout, cry, or burn every pineapple, lei, macadamia nut, Beach Boys cd, and all of the other things that remind me of Hawaii - I can't do that. I have to move on and make plans to do something different and keep my mind occupied that week. I have to stay positive as I cancel my appointments, return my new swimsuit and dress, refile my gift certificate, and offer my new availability at work.

I've learned my lesson for planning a vacation with men. Next time, I'll save the scrapbook shopping until AFTER the trip.